Zoe Marica Blackwell

My mom died 4 years ago today.

When people write they say you should always have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Usually when I write I don't have an end in mind ... much like today. Today marks the 4 year "anniversary" of my mother's death. She died August 25th, 2005 of ovarian cancer and none of us saw it coming.

It's not any easier today than it was 4 years ago.

I thought I could sit down and write a blog post without crying ... but I didn't even make it to the third paragraph. I want to write something...something beautiful about my mom. I want to remember her in a way that would make her proud. I want people to appreciate their moms and love being alive, because some people aren't so lucky.

My mom was a perfect lady. Granted, probably not, but through my eyes, she was. She was a good Christian woman who loved her family more than herself. She walked every day ... she even completed a marathon! She was healthy, happy, and full of life. She worked hard, played hard and lived hard. Everyone loved her, from the ladies at church to the neighbors down the street. She was amazing and taught our entire family how to love one another. There was no reason she should have been taken from this world so early. NO reason. But she was.

I wish she was here to see the birth of our child. I wish she could've met Stacey and Blake's new wife, Kacee. She wanted more than anything for us to find good woman to marry and she'd be tickled pink that all of her sons are now married. And the fact that she'd be a grandma soon would've thrilled her to no end. She would've loved being a Grandma.

But like we all have learned in my family the past 4 years, there are a lot of things that just won't ever happen. She wasn't at our weddings, she won't see the birth of our kids, she won't be at Christmas anymore, and we'll never get to eat her meatloaf ever again.

As one life exits the world, another comes into it. And I'm learning that more and more every day. While the world isn't fair - it is at the same time. People have to go to make room for more people. But who the world chooses to take is completely and totally random.

I keep writing, like if it's going to make sense if I do ... but it won't drag it out anymore than it has to. It never will make sense and my mom will never come back.

Reminder

I'm 100 yards from the beach. Taking calls, scheduling photoshoots, working on websites ... chillin'. This is a reminder that I love my job and my life. :)

Peace,
-marc

Overwhelmed in a good way

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. In a good way.

I want to take over the world. I want to take pictures of people on the street. I want to re-do my webpage, re-do Lucas' webpage, Emily's, Amy's, Stacey's, Group III Management's, Diem's and 14341's. I want to create a photo project/campaign to enhance cancer awareness. I want to make a book of just people photos. I want to illustrate another Children's book like Tear Drop Key. I want to Facebook, and Twitter and Blog all at the same time. I want to clean the apartment again, wash the dishes, do more laundry and paint the walls. I want to paint. I want to draw. I want to go see movies, try different resturaunts and drink coffee all over LA. I want to drive ... far. I want to see my baby girl! I want to take Stacey on a proper honeymoon, and show her the world. I want to be a house-hold photography name. I want to create music. I wanna be on stage and sing and dance. I want to play the guitar real loud . I want to write these thank you notes, I wanna finish up Zoe's room. I want to do a clean sweep on my laptop, revamp my myspace page and put new videos on youtube. I want to make a movie. I want to direct a movie. I want to be IN a movie. I want to buy an iMac. I want to work. I want to shower, and float down a river. I want to be closer to my dad. I want to have people over and cook out. I want to swim and run and learn to fly a plane. I want to garden and riot and buy a big american flag. I want to back up, look forward, see straight. I want to sleep, talk, and light fires. I want to go to a state I've never been and see things I've never saw. I want to be afraid, be courages, take risks and shoot guns. I want to be a phsyciatrist, be on a talk show, meet Jay Leno.

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.

There just aint enough time in the day to do everything I want! :)

Peace,
-marc

Buy an original painting on Etsy!

Marc's Etsy Store!

Check out the link above to buy some of my original artwork!

Thanks, Peace,
-marc

Gay Marriage

Yahoo News Story

As a married man, I have a new view on gay marriage. I've always believed that those who are homosexual should be able to be married. But now that I am married - I REALLY believe that EVERYONE should have the RIGHT to be married! I have gay friends, and when we're chilling and hangin' out, I've started to look at them and wonder "why is anyone prohibiting these guys from getting married?" It's absurd! Who thinks they have the right to tell other people how to live their lives? It's like someone telling Stacey and I "uh, no - you can't get married because you liked the new terminator movie". Dumb.

Just my two cents. As California struggles to regain the equal rights we had for a few months I'll be a supporter of anyone and everyone who wants to get married. And once we get CA straightened out (no pun intended) we'll work on the rest of the United States.

Peace,
-marc

My hot wife:)